A gang of hoodlums began hanging out on the steps of the church and hassling worshipers as they came in and out. Finally, the situation got so bad that complaints reached Father Murphy, who decided to go out and talk to the teenagers.
The priest's appearance was greeted by hoots and catcalls. But he went up to the leader and said, "Boys, I think there are better places for you to hang out than on God's doorstep."
The gang leader defiantly said, "F**k God."
Father Murphy winced. "You're risking God's wrath by breaking His holy laws and taking his name."
The gang leader said, "F**k God's laws. You name one, I break it. I swear, I f**k , I steal, I smoke, I shoot people. I'll tell you what. I'm gonna break every single f**king law the church has ever make."
The priest said, "Do you really mean that?"
The gang leader turned to his buddies and said, "Do I ever go back on a promise? Blood oath. I'm gonna break every church law."
"Well," the priest said, "I know of at least one sin you haven't committed."
"Yeah? Tell me what it is and I'll do it."
Father Murphy replied, "There's a strict church law against suicide. So go kill yourself." |
Touring couple A young couple was touring southern Florida on their honeymoon and stopped at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small... 
Toilet Brush Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five tickets each, seeing it was for... 
The Great Painter A painter had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings he had created. He worked day and night, stopping only occasionally for... 
Blessings of God At a church meeting a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. "I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the... 
Damn Fish ! There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish...