•  

    New Husband
    In a small town in the old country the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she agreed and they were married.

    After the marriage Friday came. They went to the Mikva. Then home to prepare to light the candles.

    The butcher leaned over to her and said, "My mother told me that after the Mikva and before lighting he candles, it's a mitzvah to have sex."

    So they did. She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, "My father told me that after lighting the candles it's good to have sex."

    So they did. They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbos. When they awoke he said to her, "My grandmother said that before you go to the synagogue it's a mitzvah to have sex." So they did. After praying all day, they came home to rest, and again he whispers in her ear, "My grandfather says after praying it's a mitzvah to have sex."

    So they did. On Sunday she goes out to shop for food and meets a friend who asks, "So how is the new husband?"

    She replies, "Well, he is no scholar, but he comes from a wonderful family."
  • Sexual Needs Sexual Needs A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read: "Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy...
  • Grass Sandwich Grass Sandwich At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this...
  • Preacher`s Salary Preacher`s Salary The Preacher explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave...
  • Shoo The Crows Shoo The Crows In a small country church, the preacher was at the pulpit addressing the congregation, saying, "We gotta little problem in da church, we's got crows in the steeple. Every time I tries to do...
  • Attitude Problems Attitude Problems A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT