Mature Jokes

Little Johnny and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of the cooler. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer...

Me: Say `I am a man` after everything I say.
Friend: Alright.
Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You decided to get drunk....

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again....... back and forth...... back and forth..... in and out.....

In a Sex Education Class:
The Teacher: Condom Ke Istemal Se Koi Problem Nahin Hota. Is se Aap Safe Bhi Rahte Hain Aur Sex Ke Anand Mein Bhi Koi Phark Nahin Padta....

Three housewives were walking in a park.
They saw a dog fucking a bitch really hard there.
Doctor`s Wife: So sweet, now they will have cute puppies...

Madam Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Kaha: Pappu, Aaj Main Tumhara Test Lungi. Main Jis Jis Janwar Ka Naam Bolungi Tum Uski Awaj Nikal Ke Dikhana.

Pappu: Ji Madam....

Bhosadika Whatsapp Ke Chakkar Mein Poora Dimaag Satak Gaya Hai.
Ek second Mein Mijaaj Shayaraana Ho Jaayega,
Agle Hi Second Mein Desh Bhakti Jaag Jaayegi...

Mrs Butler, "I notice that when I go down on Butlerji and give a blowjob his balls are always cold."
Mrs Anderson, "Mr Anderson`s balls are cold too, when I give Blowjob...

Aajkal Ke Bachchon Ki Haramipanti :
MADAM : Shor Mat Karo Nahin Toh Khada Kar Dungi.
Bachhe: Pehele Mera... Pehele Mera... Pehele Mera...

Brigadier Preston-Jago of the Royal Army Maintenance Corps was undergoing a court-martial for an incident where he was found to be chasing a young lady through the hallways...