Mature Jokes

The woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it...

A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered. The patient had purple hair, plus a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was quickly determined that...

A couple had not been married for long, when the husband came home one day to find that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and gathered up all his friends...

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering...

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife...

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

There's a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer...

A young girl was having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother on her first visit home since starting university.
"Mum, I have to tell you," the girl confessed. "I lost my virginity...

Three guys were driving down a country road when their car broke down. Luckily, they were near a farm. They went to the farmer, and asked if they could spend the night there...

A couple who drove their car to K Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car...