Mature Jokes


Wax Job!?!

I Met a guy in Las Vegas who really looked down in the dumps, so I asked him if he`d been cleaned out at the casinos. "It`s worse than that," he said, "I blew almost all my dough at the casinos and then...

A Cunnilingus Master

A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck...

Licensed To Lick

A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman`s boobs and splashes all over them.

The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks...

For Shame and Glory

A woman walks into a bar and orders two shots. She downs the first one..."This is for the shame", and then the second one..."This is for the glory."
She then orders two more shots. She drinks the first one...

Trying to Get a Date

A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat.During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man...

No Beer for Wife's Lover

Two Irish buddies had been out drinking for hours when their money finally ran out. "I have an idea," mumbled Al. "Lesh go over to my housh and borrow shum money from my wife."
The two of them reeled into...

Mrs. O'Conner's Breast

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he`d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he`s walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean...

Alien Sex!!!

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed...

Bad Breath!!!

Ole and Sven are the best of friends, and they have these two girls on the string - Lena and Olga - who live together in an apartment. One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks...

On The Rocks!

A true southern gentleman went to Las Vegas. Sitting in a cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, "Miss, y`all sure are a luvly, luvly lady. Can ah persuade y`all to give me a piece of ass...