Mature Jokes


The Playboy's Trap

"First," said the playboy, "I`m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."
"Oh no you`re not," said Anni.
"Then I`ll take you to dinner and ply you with...

Toughest Cowboy

Three cowboys, one from Texas, one from Kansas and one from Oklahoma went into a bar bragging about who was the baddest of the three. The Texan said watch this and yelled at the barmaid, ey, barmaid. Bring me a...

Geographic Location

A man went to a famous Parisian restaurant with his girlfriend and ordered the 1928 Mouton. The waiter returned with the bottle, poured a taste into a glass. The customer picked up the glass, smelled the wine...

Good Time

Ben is having a drink in his local bar when in walks this gorgeous woman. Ben, not being too shy, goes up and sits next to her. He buys her a drink and then another and then another. After this and the accompanying small-talk...

A Straight Guy in a Gay Bar

A guy is about three steps inside a bar when he realizes it`s a gay bar. "What the heck? I really want a drink," he thinks, and sits down.
A waiter approaches and says, "What`s the name of your penis...

A Working Girl

A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time-honored icebreaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come...

Mouse Tattoo

There is a woman sitting with a bunch of guys at a bar. The guys were all showing off their tattoos and uttering sexist remarks as to how women cannot take enough pain to get a tattoo. After listening to the guys...

Piece of Ice???

After a tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, "Miss, would y`all give me a piece of ass?"
"Lord, that`s the most direct proposition I`ve ever had...

Alcohol and Sex

Joe went to a party the other night and was having a real blast. After he`d been there a few hours, and more than just several drinks, he noticed this fabulous blonde standing over to the side. She was in her early to mid...

Toilet Scribble

Returning from the men`s room, a bar customer was shaking his head. "What`s the matter?" inquired the bartender.
"While I was in the bathroom back there, I noticed among the scribbling on the wall, and one that said...