A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"
The doctor replies, "Well, woman have been having babies for a million years without an attendance by doctors. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."
The blonde interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination.
Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
"Miss Julie," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."
Two blonde girls from Essex walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle.
Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don'tcha fink, Susan."
"Yeah. Wot's it called Sharon?"
"Viens a moi."
"Viens a moi? Wot's that mean?"
At this stage the store clerk offers some help.
"Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'"
Sharon takes another sniff and offers her arm to Susan again saying, "That don't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you?"
A gorgeousl, size 10 blonde (droooooool) from New York went to Australia for her vacation and booked into a VERY expensive hotel.
She changed into her skimpy thong bikini, put on a fashionable beach shirt, beach hat, sunglasses, new sandals... You get the idea. She grabbed a large towel; her new beach bag and headed for the golden Australian sand and sun.
To her surprise the beach was very crowded. The only spot big enough to accommodate her large towel was right next to a filthy, salt encrusted bench with a seriously dirty old bum collapsed on it.
She was VERY nervous about stretching out in her bikini next to this old bum ... but it was the only available place. Anyway, she was on holiday, this was Australia and she figured she'd be safe enough!
She spread her beach towel; removed her shirt and hat; and opened her beach bag to get her sun-tan lotion. She liberally applied sun-tan lotion all over her VERY sexy, pale white body.
The bum watched intently.
She laid back on her towel to read a little. Then realized she'd forgotten to remove her new sandals. She sat up and slipped off her sandals.
As she stretched back down, the bum leaned over and asked, "Hey lady, can I smell your pussy?"
Like a released spring and, absolutely outraged, she jumped up and screamed, "Of course not! I've never been so insulted!"
"Oh!" announced the bum, "Then it must be your feet."
A stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies.
"Are you feeling OK?" he asked.
"Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?"
"Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'."
Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She had a tummy tuck, breast and butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally.
Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new "body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in.
"Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age: osteoporosis."
Bambi looked puzzled, "Osteo--what?"
"Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s."
Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!"
The biology professor was discussing the high glucose level of semen when a blonde co-ed raised her hand.
"Are you saying there's a lot of sugar in male semen?"
"Correct," responded the professor, adding more statistical material.
The same girl raised her hand again, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
The entire class burst out laughing, her face turned bright red, she said not a word, picked up her books, and walked straight out of class never to return.
As she left, the professor added with a straight face, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue, not in the back of your throat!"
Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a tummy tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman - literally.
Her personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new "body work."
When the exam was finished, he called her in.
"Bambi, your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often affects women your age, osteoporosis."
Bambi looked puzzled, "Osteo-what?"
"Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their 40s."
Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite often!"
A guy walks in to a bar and sits down, just a few seats from him there is a very buxom blonde with huge size 42CC breasts.
The guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady's boobs and splashes all over them...
The bartender retrieves the glass and licks the beer off the blonde. Each time he calls for a beer, this happens. So after the third beer, he decides to help the bartender out.
The next time the bartender hits her boobs, he jumps up and starts to lick her breasts... AND SHE DECKS HIM.
He is laying on the floor moaning and groaning, "Jeez..then why do you let the bartender do it?"
The blonde replies, "Because he has a liquor license."
"Miss, I'm sorry but we can't employ you as a center-fold model", the editor of a men's magazine explained. "It's all too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black".
The irate lady picked up a paperweight on his desk and proceeded to slam it down on the editor's fingers.
"What the hell did you do that for !" he exploded.
She smiled sweetly and said "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."