Mature Jokes

Johnny`s parents were out of town once and so they asked that young female teacher to stay for that time in their house.
Before going to bed Johnny says to her 'Oh, please, I`m so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my...

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, 'Mom, what are those things on your chest?'
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be...

Little Johnny is lying in his bed one night and just can`t get to sleep. He decides to go to his parent`s room to go chat to them. Upon entering their room, he sees their blankets going up-and-down.
Johnny:' Mommy, daddy, what are you doing?'
Parents:' We are playing...

Sammy came home from school with a red ear. His father asked him that what happened to his ear. Sammy said that it was due to...

Dad came home one day in an exceptionally horny mood and took his wife upstairs for sex. Just when they were really getting into it, their young son entered the room and started to cry.
'What`s wrong, son? Why...

A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group.
After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it while still there.
She heard a little...

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child inher class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than....................Punch a kid bigger...

Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: 'Did you notice the small..

A little girl was leading her dog through the park when an old man stopped her, saying, 'That`s sure a pretty dress you`re wearing.'
The little girl smiled, 'Thank you, Sir. My mama bought it for me. This is my dog Porky.'
The old man chuckled, 'I`ll bet a nickel I can...

Little Johnny had hurt his finger while working on his model airplane. He ran to his mother, who kissed the wound and made it better.
On the way to the store a little later, Johnny fell off his bike and scraped his knee. He ran to his mother, who kissed it...