Mature Jokes


A Strange Bet!

To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, an elderly couple booked the honeymoon suite at a posh hotel.

As the bellboy was taking their luggage to the suite, he thought to himself, "At their age, they`re...

How to Use a Rectal Thermometer

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It`s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown...

Peeing off a Bridge

Two women are hiking in the woods. After an hour or so, they come to a stream. Unable to cross, they decide to walk along the stream and look for a narrower place. Fortunately they come to an old bridge spanning the stream...

Grandfather's Advice

This should once again confirm that the most important information in your life won`t come from a teacher, the library or the Internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level. My long-passed grandfather...

The Clarinet Player

A man is walking around the streets of the city one day when he spies an old friend of his from college. "George!" he yells. "I haven`t seen you in ages! How have you been?"
"Well, I am the Clarinet player for...

Check Your Bra Knowledge

Q: Striped BRA?
Ze*BRA*
Q: Poisonous BRA?
Co*BRA*
Q: Mathematical BRA...

Amazing Sex Life

An upset man Goes to a Sex Therapist. Man: Doc, you Gotta help me. Please!
Doc: Sure Dude. What`s your problem?
Man: It goes like this. Every Morning I get up & give my wife Hot Sex. Then leave for office...

Heavily Drunk

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr...

Testicle Transplant

A man was injured in an industrial accident and was rushed to a doctor who determined that one of his testicles was crushed. The crushed testicle was removed and the man was assured that he would be fine...

Hair Loss Treatment

Dissatisfied with the results he got from his family doctor, the balding man sought out alternative treatment for his hair loss. A friend referred him to a scientist who had been testing a chemical that showed...

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