Mature Jokes



Used Pussy!

A woman finally got divorced from a rather nasty and egotistical man. She then re-married someone whom she felt would treat her with more love and kindness. When her ex-husband happened to meet her on the street...

Aroused Penis

A medical professor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast and testicles. A female student asked another male student, "Do you ever get an erection when you do a self-examination of your testicles...

A couple had been divorced for about 6 months, but still remained good friends. This worked out pretty good since the both lived in the same apartment building. One day he slipped on the ice and broke his arm. Later he met...

The Accountant's Tattoo

Fred gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
"I was out getting a tattoo...

Cure for Erectile Dysfunction!

There was a man who had a problem getting an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor takes all kinds of tests and finally decides that he can cure the man. The doctor tells the man to go home and wait until his wife is asleep...

Best Toast!!!

Bill O`Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here`s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife...

Revenge Sex

Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy`s wife and told her about it. "I know what we will do", she said, "Let`s take revenge on him."
So together they went to a motel and...

Dirty Words!!!

A newly wed couple had only been married for two weeks. Husband, although very much in love, couldn`t wait to go out in town and party and drink with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I am going out and will be...

What They Want, What They Get

What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are.
What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman...

Sleeping Around

Mary and Betty were friends that worked in the same office. At lunch, Betty confided to her co-worker that she had an awful row with her husband the night before. "What was it about...