Mature Jokes



9 Pounds of Gold

A husband and wife were very happy over the nine pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of famous newspaper and reported that he had become the proud owner of...

Trouble in the Bedroom Department!

Sven is passing by Ole`s hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Ole doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson...

Cheap Tiles!

An Irish wife was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards, she slipped over and did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Paddy! Paddy!"
Paddy came running in....

Old & Rusty!

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch and starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"
He replies, "I`m going to...

Hair in my Spaghetti

Gary and Mary go on their honeymoon, and Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary`s pussy. The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant. Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams...

OOps!!! He Smoked his Cigar?

A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him, "Why is the front of your shirt all bloody?"
His customer answers in a slurred voice, "My wife caught me with another woman and cut off my penis....

The Sensuous Wife

With a very seductive voice the wife asked her husband, "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"
"No, said her husband."
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons...

Blow Job Toad

A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him. The guy asks, "What`s in the box?"
The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad...

Female Libido Pills!

"Doc, you`ve gotta help me... my wife just isn`t interested in sex anymore. Haven`t you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can`t prescribe..."
"Doc, we`ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate...

Crushed Scrotum!!!

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible...