Mature Jokes

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, 'Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want.'
The Russian begins thinking...

A young amorous couple were about to do the wild thing, so, being smart, they bought a box of a dozen condoms. They had a nice time in bed, playing and fondling and finally culminating it by having sex.
When she came back to her boyfriend's apartment a week later, the woman discovered that there were only six condoms remaining...

There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home.
When they got there, he whips out his manhood and asks 'What's this?'
She replies, 'A cock.'
He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough. A couple of weeks later...

Robert was delighted when he found a woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him.
In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancée' about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when...

A former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been somewhat stretched is given a proposal of marriage by a man she meets in a bar one night. She thinks it over, and she decides to accept his proposal.
Her private parts are somewhat oversized from her former occupation, but she decides...

Johnny is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, he manages to hit everything but the toilet. So his mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Johnny to the doctor.
After the examination, the doctor said...

Two women go out one Friday night without their husbands.
As they head back home, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee.
They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to...

A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her while stationed in Saudi Arabia. So she sends him a very special care package.
He is very excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains...

A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go duck hunting.
He tells his wife, 'You've got three choices; you can go duck hunting with me, I'll do you anally or you can give me a blowjob. I'm gonna load up the truck and get the dog out. Make up your mind before I get back.'
Hubby returns twenty minutes later and says...

A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse.
After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had...