Mature Jokes

Burford comes home from work and his wife is in the kitchen on all fours, wearing nothing but her bathrobe, scrubbing the kitchen floor. He comes up behind her, lifts up her robe...

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex...

A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any...

Dear Abby: Q: My husband to be still pines for his old girlfriends. I`m afraid he will not be faithful. A: A man`s capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner...

The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same, sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, 'Honey, do you remember this?'
He looks up at her and replies, 'Yes dear, I do, you wore that same...

It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying 'This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?'
He answered ' You`ve got to keep...

A pregnant woman and her husband asked the doctor if it was OK to have sex during her pregnancy.
He told them that during the first trimester they could do it normal-style.
During the second trimester they should do...

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed and says: 'Doc, you`ve got to help me. I can`t go on like this.'
'What`s the problem?' the doctor inquired.
'Well, I`m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem...

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man`s genitals through his wallet. ~Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. ~Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a...

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn`t wait to go out into town and party, so he says to his new wife:
Honey, I`ll be right back...
Where are you going coochi...