Mature Jokes

Santa, who had been away on an extended trip, had very romantic plans for his first night home.
He said them to his wife, Jeeto, who promptly said, 'Oh, I'm sorry, dear, but I've got to do all of this laundry. Another time, please.'
The next night poor Santa tried again, and Jeeto said...

On a cold January morning Banta was driving along a long empty road when he heard his engine making funny noises. Suddenly it came splattering to a halt and for the next 30 minutes he tried in vain to get it going.
With no mobile phone and temperatures at...

After much soul searching and having determined Banta is infertile, he and his wife Preeto decided to try artificial insemination.
When Preeto showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table and place her feet in the stirrups.
She was feeling rather awkward about the entire procedure when...

Santa arrived home from work one day and found, to his dismay, his young wife, Jeeto, laying on the couch with a very swollen esophagus & neck with a high fever.
He immediately put her in his car and drove her to the...

Banta was out for his morning jog and about halfway through he had to go, to answer nature's call.
He looks around and saw a tree on a lawn. It was early in the morning so he decided to go on the lawn. He finished and proceeded on with his jog.
On his return trip, a lady waves to him from the house...

Our Banta is a scientist and once he was studying a pair of visiting aliens ask how they reproduce along with his colleagues and assistants.
The male alien says, 'Here, will show you.'
He proceeds to intertwine his antennae with those of the female for 15 seconds afterwhich a sack...

Banta is sitting on a train across from a busty girl wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear.
The girl realizes he is staring and inquires, 'Are you looking at...

Banta went to hospital for a circumcision but, because of some fuck up during the operation, he ended up having a complete sex change.
All the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so that they could...

Santa and Banta go to a whorehouse and knock on the door.
'What do you want?'
'We want chicks!'
'How much money you got?'
Santa and Banta search their pockets and...

Banta went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, Santa stopped by to see how he was doing.
Santa was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with...