Mature Jokes

Santa and Banta owned a hotel. Unfortunately it lit up in flames one night.
Banta called Santa to give him the news. He was distraught and asked him to meet him.
Once there, Banta was pacing and screaming...

A body builder walks into a bar. He's a rather large, menacing guy.
He orders a beer, chugs it back, and then bellows, 'All you guys on this side of the bar are cocksuckers!'
A sudden silence descends.
After a moment, he asks...

Santa and Banta were sitting in a bar getting really drunk and are talking about all sorts of things.
Santa says, 'I love my wife, Jeeto, but sometimes I get bored. Tell me, have you ever thought of swapping partners? Who says you have to be with your wife and I have to...

Banta was talking to a man in a bar at Ludhiana.
Banta, 'Look out there to the field. Do you see that wall? Look how well it's built. I built that wall stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me Banta-the-Wall-Builder? Nooo..'
Then Banta gestured at...

Banta bought an elderly circus elephant. But he couldn't afford to feed it.
So he started a contest: entry was Rs 500, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get Rs 10,000. (He'd never seen an elephant jump with all...

Santa returns home early from a business trip and got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness.
Santa suspected his wife, Jeeto, was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For Rs 1000, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, Santa and cabby...

Banta and his wife, Preeto, drove their car to a supermarket only to have it break down in the parking lot. Banta told Preeto to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
Preeto returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection Preeto saw a pair of male...

'Now son,' said Santa. 'Let's see how much you've learnt in maths. What's two and two.'
After a moment the boy replied, 'Four.'
'Good,' replied Santa, 'but let's try and be a little quicker. What's four and...

Banta was referred to a psychiatrist who decided to start off by testing him word association.
'I'm going to repeat the same word and over again and I want you to to tell me what comes into your mind. Are you ready?'
Banta, 'Yes, Doctor.'
'Good. The word is breasts...

Doctor, doctor, I'm so knackered!' cried Santa. 'I just can't get to sleep at night.''Now calm down,' said the doctor. 'You're obviosuly suffering from nerves, you must learn to relax when you go to bed tonight, start with your toes and gently...