Mature Jokes

A man walked up to Santa`s farm house and knocks on the door. When Mrs Santa, Jeeto, opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door.
Again, though, the man knocked, and asked the same question. Not amused, Jeeto screamed at him and...

Santa was having coffee and sandwich with butter and jam in a diner when a Chinese, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
Santa politely ignored the Chinese, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. Chinese snapped his gum and said, 'You Indians eat the whole bread?'
Santa frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied...

Two drunks, Santa and Banta were trying to figure out how to get some drinks for free. They only had a fifty rupees in change between them.
'I`ve got it, follow me.' said Santa man.
They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun.
'We`ll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I`ll unzip my fly and pull out...

A visiting professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: 'How many people here believe in ghosts?' About 50 students raise their hands.
'Well that`s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you`ve ever seen a ghost?'
About 35 students raise their hands.
'That`s really good. I`m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone...

Banta goes over to Santa`s house, rings the bell. Santa`s wife, Jeeto answers.
'Hi, is Santa home?'
'No, he went to the store.'
'Well, you mind if I wait?' 'No come in.'
They sit down and Banta says, 'You know Jeeto, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I`d give you...

After a few years of married life, Santa noticed that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him: 'This is all in your mind' and refers Santa to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits, the shrink confesses: 'I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.'
Finally the psychiatrist refers Santa to...

Santa goes into emergency with his testicles just hanging by a few bits of skin.
The doctor said to Santa, 'What ever happened to you, it must have been very painful!'
Santa explains, 'While hunting in the bush I needed to go to the bathroom for the heavy duty job. As I squatted down, I didn`t see the `bear trap` and...

Santa is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off.
He hollers, 'Operator, give me back the party!'
She says, 'I`m sorry sir, you`ll have to make the call all over again.'
Santa says, 'What do you want from my life? Give me back the party.'
She says...

Banta, 'Doctor, please help me! My wife just isn`t interested in sex anymore. Haven`t you got a pill or something I can give her?'
Doctor, 'Look, I can`t prescribe...'
Banta, 'Doctor, we`ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I`m desperate! I can`t think; I can`t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You`ve got to...

The medics rushed Banta to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
After a couple of days, Banta`s physician comes into his room and says, 'I`m happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the...