| Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba's last date. "You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type." Faba declared. "What's that? What's do you mean intellectual type?" Mujo asked with curiosity. "Well, I mean I was dating a man who is very intellectual and intelligent," explained Faba to her friend. Mujo giggles, and asked, "So, how was it?" "First, he took me to dinner. Then he took me to a cinema movie. And then he took me out for a drive. After all that, he took me to his house. He began an intellectual conversation. And finally, he took out his penis." "What is this word, 'penis'," Mujo asked, unfamiliar with the clinical terminology. "Oh, it is what intellectuals have. It looks like a dick, just much smaller!" |
| A Priest was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Priest if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice." |
| Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store's shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, "I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we're selling." Within minutes, a man did just that, "Hey, boys. Whacha sellin'?" One businessmen responded sarcastically, "We're selling a$$holes." Without missing a beat, he rejoined, "Looks like business is good; ya only got two left!" |
| Travis had been rather upbeat lately. "What gives?" asked Jim. "Just loving life, Jim. Loving life," he replied. "Health, togetherness, motivated children, lack of envy: that's the recipe for a happy life. Plus, we've been having more sex than any time in our marriage." "Wow, that's pretty good after 25 years, Travis." "Yes, it is," he mused. "So much so that Marge has taken to calling it her 'medicine'." "Oh, yeah?" said Jim. "Is she swallowing it or taking it as a suppository? " |