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Whale Couple
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whale realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen" -
Pervert Donald
Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were up in a hotel room and decided that they wanted to have sex.
Well, the first thing Minnie asks is, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald says, "No."
Minnie tells Donald that if he doesn't get a condom that they can't have sex and suggests Donald that he go buy a condom. She says that may be they sell them at the front desk.
Donald proceeds to go downstairs and gets to the front desk. He asks the hotel clerk if they sell condoms.
The clerk says, "Yes we do" and pulls one out from under the desk and give it to Donald.
The clerk asks, "Would you like me to put that on your bill?"
Donald says, "NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF PERVERT?" -
Bear With Me
Farmer Joe lives with his tame bear in the remote country with only dirt access roads. His tame bear had been naughty that day so he put him in the barn and said, "You stay here until you learn how to behave yourself".
Shortly afterwards it begin to rain. About an hour later a travelling salesman got stuck in the mud and asked the Farmer for a place to stay. The Farmer told him he didn't have room in the house, however he could stay in the barn. He told the salesman there were no lights in the barn and his tame bear was in the barn. The Farmer said the bear would not bother him. The salesman went to the barn.
Later another travelling salesman got stuck in the mud and the Farmer told him about the barn - no lights and the tame bear. Salesmen left for barn.
One hour later a woman got stuck in the mud and approached the Farmer. He told her about the barn and mentioned the two travelling salesmen (he was so concerned about the salesmen he forgot to mention the bear). The woman told the farmer that she could take care of herself and left for the barn.
Two hours later, heavy knocking at the door awakened the Farmer. When opening the door the woman was standing there with her clothes torn and rumpled.
The Farmer said, "Good heavens, what happened to you?"
The woman replied, "I give up on human nature... the first guy gave me 500 bucks, the second guy gave me 1000 bucks, but that cheap jerk in the fur coat never even said thanks!" -
Wild Sex!
This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a goat runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the goat by the hind legs and starts screwing it.
"Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the sherrif.
She sees the sheriff's car parked in front of the town bar.
"It figures...," she says as she storms inside. The first thing she notices is an old, old man with a long white beard sitting in the corner jacking-off. She runs up to the sheriff who's sitting at the bar with his drink.
"What kind of sick town are you running here?! I drive into town and almost run over some cowboy sodomizing an animal....and then...I come in here....and see this old man in the corner jacking-off right in public!!!!??"
Well, ma'am," the sheriff slowly replies, "you don't expect him to catch a goat at his age, do you?"