Blondes Adult and Non Veg Jokes

  • Not all Blondes are Dumb

    Two casino dealers are waiting idly at the craps table when a beautiful blonde comes in and asks if she could bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice.

    "And," she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm naked."

    With that she takes off everything but her necklace, rolls the dice, then starts yelling, "Mama needs new clothes."

    When the dice stop she screams, "Yes, yes, yes! I won, I won, I won!" and she jumps up and down and, while still nude, she hugs and kisses both of the dealers passionately. Then she picks up the money, gathers all of her clothes and leaves.

    The dealers can only stare at her very nude and well rounded shapely behind as it vanishes into the casino crowd, then one of the dealers ask, "What did she roll, anyway?"

    The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."
  • Don't Swallow!

    A blonde completed four weeks of dental restoration with the dentist.

    She confided to her best friend that she had fallen in love with her dentist and she was going to propose to him.

    Her friend said, "You're beautiful, you have dozens of men that adore you. Why is this dentist THE man for you?"

    "Because," explained the blonde, "he is the first man that ever said to me 'SPIT, don't SWALLOW'."
  • Come to me!

    Two blondes walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle.

    Mary sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don't you think, Margaret?"

    "Yeah. What's it called, Mary?"

    "Viens a moi."

    "Viens a moi? What does that mean?"

    At this stage the assistant offers some help, "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me'."

    Margaret takes anther sniff and offers her arm to Mary again saying, "That doesn't smell like cum to me. Does that smell like cum to you?"
  • Special Offer!!!

    A man walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.

    "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

    The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head. The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.

    "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

    A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.

    A blonde woman timidly Spoke up, "I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"
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