| A blonde walks into a porno shop and asks, "How much for the white dildo?" Salesman answers, "$35." Blonde: "How much for the black one?" Salesman: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one." Blonde: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before." She pays him, and off she goes. A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the black dildo?" Salesman: "$35." Black Woman: "How much for the white one?" Salesman: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one." Black Woman: "Hmmm... I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before..." She pays him, and off she goes. About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your dildos?" Salesman: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black." Blonde: "Hmmmmm..., how much is that plaid one on the shelf?" Salesman: "Well, that's a very special dildo... it'll cost you $165." Blonde: She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before," She pays him, and off she goes. Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your thermos for $165." |
| A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde's boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts and she decks him. He is lying on the floor moaning, "Jeez lady, Why do you let the bartender do it?" "Duh," says the blonde, "he has a licker license." |
| A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No. Just up to my breasts." |
| Two blondes are having lunch catching up with each other's news. "I heard you've given up smoking, is it true?" "Yes, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two months." "But you were such a heavy smoker, you must tell me your secret. I've tried everything to quit." "Well it's really quite simple. Every time I get the urge to smoke a cigarette, I suck on a LifeSaver instead" "Well that's easy for you, but I don't live near the beach" |