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Impregnation
Eva, a blonde city girl, marries a rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Eva, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?"
So the rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Eva takes him down to the barn. They walk along a long row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one..... right here."
Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Eva explains.
Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him as she walks away. -
Milk Bath
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it in my eyes." -
Underwear Color
Three blondes passed every day through a street that led them from their room to their office. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.
One day, they heard, "Red, blue, black."
One of the blondes noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to her friends, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.
The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."
Hearing that, girls were astonished!! One of the blondes spoke up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird."
Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should wear any underwear. So, next day they wore no underwear and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house.
They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.
Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!" -
Tribal Experiment
A blonde couple was watching a documentary on the TV Channel about an African tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When a male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and a weight is attached to the other end. After a while, the weight stretches the length of the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked down at him and said, "What do you say, we try that African string-and-weight procedure?"
Her husband agreed and they tied and string and weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our tribal experiment coming along?"
"Well, it looks like we're half-way there," he replied.
"You've grown to 12 inches?!" she said, astonished.
"No ... it's turned black," he answered.