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Nice Hooters
A blonde, Lucy, was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned.
Her friend, Liz, never saw Sally looking' so sad.
Liz, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay...but you look so sad. Why??"
Lucy, "Cause I just can't get a man."
Liz, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of the woods."
Lucy, "Don't be so silly. I know that. But I went in the woods cause I needed something there that would get me a man. But I couldn't find it."
Liz, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Lucy, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of owls. I took some dead mice and a bird cage."
Liz, "So, how's that gonna help you get a man."
Lucy, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to have a good pair of hooters." -
Personal Question
A shy, drunken, innocent young man walked up to a beautiful young blonde in a pub and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Yes I do," replied the beautiful blonde, "But go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway."
"OK," said the shy, drunken, innocent young man, "How many men have you slept with?"
"That's my business!" snapped the blonde.
"Oh, right!" said the bloke, "I didn't realize you made a living out of it! -
Smelling Divine
A Blonde couple were in a car parked on Lovers Lane and the young man turned admiringly to his pretty date and said, "Gee, you smell terrific. You wearing perfume or something?"
The girl blushed charmingly and confessed that she was wearing a new perfume that she'd bought especially with him in mind. "You smell good, too," she aid, "What do you have on?"
"Well, I have a hard-on," blurted the young man," but I didn't know that you could smell it." -
Nursing
A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist's couch telling him how frustrated she was since she always failed at everything she seemed to try.
"I've tried to be a secretary and failed," she complained. "I tried to be an actress and failed. Then, I tried sales and I failed at that too."
The doctor thought for a moment and then said, "It is important for everyone to live a full and meaningful life. Have you tried nursing?"
She thought about his suggestion for a second, then opened her blouse and revealed one of her luscious breasts.
Pointing it at the doctor, she said, "OK, I'll give it a try."