| A blonde is crossing the road when she gets run over. She is lying on the ground as the driver rushes out of the car to her. "Are you all right?" he asks her. "Everything is just a blur, I can't see anything," blonde says. Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight. "How many fingers have I got up?" he asks. "Oh, no!" she replies, "Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down, too!" |
| Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends. "It's funny," says Samantha, "Peter's balls are always cold as ice when I'm sucking his dick." "You know what?" replies Jenny. "It's exactly the same with my Richard..." They turn to the third blonde and ask, "When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?" "Ugh! That's disgusting! I never put Chris's thing in my mouth!" "You're crazy," one of the blondes pipes up. "A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy. You should try it." She says she'll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner. "Whoa!" the first blonde asks. "How did you get that black eye?" "Chris hit me when I was blowing him," she says. "What on earth for?" the second blonde asks. "I don't know," she replies. "All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete's and Richard's are so cold." |
| A man requested a female blonde painter to paint him in the nude. "No" the talented blonde artist said. "I don"t do that sort of thing. "I"ll increase your fee two times," he said. "No, no thanks!!" "I"ll give five times as much as you normally get." Okay, said the artist, "but you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes." |
| A waiter was working one night, when a beautiful blonde was seated in his section. He went over to take her order, and saw that she was crying. "What's wrong, miss? Are you ok?" he asked. Wiping tears from her eyes, she looked up at him and said, "My boyfriend just dumped me, and today is my birthday. Nice gift, isn't it?" The waiter talked with her a few moments, and was able to get her to stop crying. He kept a close eye on her, and when she had finished her meal, he went into the kitchen, cut a large slice from the best cake on the menu, and stuck a candle in it. He lit the candle, and brought it to her table. She looked very happy, and he was glad. He said, "Make a wish and blow!" She closed her eyes, and made her wish. Then she came up to the waiter, got down on her knees, unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock, and started sucking on it. |