| A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman`s right breast is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma`am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!" |
| One day a police officer pulls over a car for speeding. The driver turns out to be a gorgeous blond woman. "I`ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma`am.... Could I see your driver`s license and registration...?" "License...registration???" replies the blonde. "They`re usually in your wallet and glove compartment." says the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, she produces the documents. "I`ll be back in a minute," says the cop and walks back to his car. He radios the dispatcher to run a check on the license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher comes back. "Ummm.... is this a hot-looking blond woman driving a red sports car?" "Uh... yes" replies the cop. "Here`s what you do...." advises the dispatcher. "Tell her to get out the car, then stand back and drop your pants." "WHAT!!? I can`t do that!" exclaims the cop. "Trust me..... just do it...." says the dispatcher. So the cop returns to the blonde, tells her to get out of the car and he drops his pants. The blonde looks down and sighs, "Oh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer...." |
| Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don`t mind, but I feel much luckier when I`m completely nude". With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. With that she picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally,one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!" |
| The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I`ll try it, "He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn`t do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What`s going on down there?" The man replied, "I`m checking out the rear axle, it`s busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you`re down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago." |