| This British explorer is in the dark jungles of Africa, going where no man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter in one. One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a handsome dark young man engaged in "playful activities" with 8-9 beautiful, dark, young women, all in the nude. The young man had the biggest, strongest penis the Britisher had ever seen, or even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked his guide who this man was. "He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other side of the lake, Sir," came the reply. "This is his morning ritual." "Ask him," the awed Brit said to his companion, "how did his penis get to be this size?" The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man, who seems to get very agitated by the conversation. "Well, what did he say?" asked our hero to his assistant on his return. "He said, `There`s nothing wrong with my penis. Doesn`t the white man`s shrink in cold water?`" |
| A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride`s and groom`s families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the shit out of each other. The police get called in to break up the fight. The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with the use of his gavel, shouting, `Silence in court!` The courtroom goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and says, `Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.` The judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride. The judge says, `OK.` `Well,` said Paddy, `after I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride an unmerciful kick right between her legs.` Shocked, the judge instantly responded, `God, that must have hurt!` `Hurt?` Paddy replies. `He broke three of my fingers!` |
| Three men, a Jewish man, a Catholic man, and a Mormon man, were having drinks at the bar following a business meeting. The Jewish man, bragging about his virility, said, `I have four sons. One more and I`ll have a basketball team!` The Catholic man pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, `That`s nothing, boy. I have 10 sons. One more and I`ll have a football team.` To which the Mormon man replied, `You fellas ain`t got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I`ll have a golf course!` |
| An Asian walked into the currency exchange line in a New York bank with 2000 yen, and he walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money than he had gotten the previous week. The lady said, "Fluctuations(heard fuck U Asians by the asian)." The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!" |