| A white man, a black man and a Mexican sit down at a bar. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down right next to them. The three begin an argument over who will approach her first. Used to this, the woman turns to them and says, "Listen boys, I`m a woman of culture and which ever one of you can use both the words liver and cheese in the same sentence can take me home." "That`s easy," said the white guy. "I like liver and I like cheese," as he gestures for her to come over. "Oh, not good enough!" says the woman. With that, the black man said "Aww shit, don`t be givin` me no liver and cheese!" and starts moving towards her. "No, no! That won`t do either," the woman replies with a wave of her hand. The Mexican looks at his friends like they arenuts, walks up and puts his arm around the woman and smiles, "liver alone, cheese mine." |
| A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, father." "In fact, I don`t think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree." "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything, father." "I have never seen a woman`s breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don`t see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you?" "Yes, sister?" "I have never seen a man`s penis. Could I see yours?" "I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh father, may I touch it?" The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "Is that true, father?" "Yes, it is, sister." "Then why don`t you stick it up that camel`s ass and lets get the hell out of here." Contributted by:- Srinivasan email address:- srinivasan6@yahoo.com |
| Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father`s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father`s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted. |
| This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come indo my humble shop." So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn`t need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, "Just try dem on, saiheeb." Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn`t seen in many years - raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Pakistani man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man`s pants and his own, and grabbed firm hold of the Pakistani`s thighs. The Pakistani then began screaming, "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!" |