| Two nuns, one known as Sister Mathematical(SM) and the other known as Sister Logical(SL), went in to town to sell cookies. As it was getting dark, they were returning home, but still far from the convent. SL: Have you noticed that man following us for the past half-hour? SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants. SL: He wants to rape us. It is the logical thing. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15.2 minutes. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster. SM: Okay. SM: It is not working. SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started walking faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is to split up. You go that way and I will go this way. He cannot follow both of us. So they split up and the man decided to go after Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrived at the convent and was worried because Sister Logical had not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical arrived. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! What happened with the man? Are you all right? SL: I am fine. The logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, and you are faster, so he followed me. SM: So, what happened then? SL: The only logical thing. I started to run as fast as I could. SM: So what happened? SL: The only logical thing. The man also started to run as fast as he could. SM: And then? SL: The only logical thing. He was faster, so he caught up with me. SM: Oh, no! What did you do then? SL: The only logical thing I could do. I lifted my dress up. SM: You did? Oh, Sister. What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no!! What happened then? SL: The only logical thing. A slow nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a fast man with his pants down. |
| Back in the good ol` days in Texas, when stagecoaches and the like were popular, there were three people in a stagecoach one day: a true red-blooded born-and-raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city-slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well-endowed Texas lady. The city-slicker kept eyeing the lady, and finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I`ll give you $10 for a blow job." The Texas gentleman looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and killed the city-slicker on the spot. The lady gasped and said, "Thank you, suh, for defendin` mah honor!" Whereupon the Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell! No tenderfoot is gonna raise the price of women in Texas!" |
| One night after his evening service, a priest decided to take a walk. A wrong turn led him into the red light district. On the first corner, he saw a hooker dressed in a halter and hot pants leaning against a lamppost. Seeing the fallen woman, the priest went up and said, "My dear, I have spent my nights praying for you." "No need to do that, Father," the hooker said. "I`m here every night. You can have me any time you want." |
| Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for awhile, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns. "Blind man." replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. "Nice boobs," says the man, "Where do you want these blinds?" |