| Mr. Patel was living next to a British in London. Once they had an argument over 'Who leads a better life." British: We have a big house. Mr. Patel: I have a house next to yours and 4 more even bigger houses back in Gujarat. British: I have Benz! Mr. Patel: I have 8 Benz! British (confused): Really? But I never saw you riding any! Mr. Patel: I have 3 in Ahmedabad - Maniben, Ramilaben and Kokilaben. 2 in Rajkot - Jasuben and Nainaben. 2 live in London itself - Dayaben and Karunaben. Total 7 Bens. And this is my wife - Seemaben! She is the one I ride. But I'm not going to show you that! We are from well cultured family! |
| An Irish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blistery day, the daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up." The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold.'' The girl replied, "Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up." He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold." The girl replied, "Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up." He did and warmed his nose. The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, "My penis is frozen solid." The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she asks her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?" Concerned the mother said, "Why yes...... why do you ask?" The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?" |
| A recently widowed Jewish lady was sitting on a Florida beach when a Jewish man of similar age placed his blanket nearby and began reading a book. Attempting to strike up conversation, she asked him how he was. "Fine," he replied, and returned to his book. "I love the beach," she persisted. ''Do you come here often?'' "First time since my wife passed away last year," he answered, before going back to his book. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Suntree," he said, and then resumed reading. Trying to find a topic of common interest, she asked, "Do you like pussycats?" With that, the man threw down his book, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate sex of her life. Afterwards she gasped, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?" |
| A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from the top of mah head to the tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish." Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane. He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from the top of mah head to the tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish." The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I'm 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N." |