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Navel Kiss
The young blonde American girl, on her very first trip to Paris, decided to test the French male's fabled expertise in the art of love-making.
On her first date, she asked him what exactly he intended to do with her.
"First," he replied, "I weel remove ze dress. Zen, I will carry you to ze bed. And zen," he added triumphantly, "I will kiss ze navel."
"Big deal!!!" the blonde said. "I've had my navel kissed hundreds of times before."
"Ahhhhh, but of course," shrugged the Frenchman. "But... from ze inside?" -
Pedigree
An American and an Englishman are sharing the same compartment on a train trip to London from Paris. During their conversation, the American criticizes the arrogance of the English people.
He says to the Englishmen, "You people have such stiff upper lips that you think your people are the superior race in the world. You tend to look down on people not the same as you are. As for me, I"m proud to say that I"m a quarter Irishman, two fifths French, one sixth American Indian, a fifth Jamaican Black and a little German."
Without batting an eyelash, the Englishman just nods and comments, "How sporting of your mother." -
The Canadian Taxidermist
A tourist was kidnapped by Taliban in Pakistan. He was subjected to interrogation after being suspected to be a secret agent.
The gun-totting guy asks him, "You are from America, are you?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."
Another guy adds, "What do you do in Canada?"
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."
"A taxidermist? What the heck is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?” asks the gunman.
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The guy grins and yells, “He's okay boys. He's one of us we can let him go." -
Who Invented Sex?
A Greek and an Italian were sitting in a coffee shop one afternoon discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."