| An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flight isn't it? Take care and have a look here!" He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?" The Boeing pilot answers, "Very impressive, but now have a look here!" The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?" The jet pilot asks confused, "What did you do?" The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake and made an appointment with the stewardess for the next three nights - in a 5 Star hotel, which is paid for by my employer." |
| A professor is lecturing his class on the possibility of finding joy in unusual activities. "Even the most natural and common actions can provide an immense amount of pleasure. For example, a good bowel movement can be as enjoyable as making love." A student starts madly waving his hand and stands up when acknowledged. "Professor," he says, "Either you don't know how to fuck, or I don't know how to shit...!" |
| A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other." The tattoo artist begins his work, but is a bit confused, so he says, "Lady, I'll do anything my customers want, but I gotta ask, why would you want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the other?" "Well, if you really want to know," she firmly answers, "I'm sick and tired of my husband telling me that there's never anything good to eat between the holidays." |
| A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything. So the hippy says, "Yeah, a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not to rare, but right in the groove." So the waiter brings his burger and asks if he wants anything to drink. He says, "A cup of tea. Not too hot, not too cold, but right in the groove." The waiter is getting pissed now, but he brings the tea and slams it on the table. Little while later the waiter comes back and asks the Hippy if he wants any dessert. The hippy says, "Yeah some ice cream. Not too chocolate, not too vanilla, but right in the Groove." The waiter replies, "Why don't you kiss my arse. Not the right cheek, not the left cheek, but right in the groove! |