| Every day a man would walk up to a woman in her office, stand very close to her, inhale a deep breath of air, and say, "Your hair sure smells nice!" After a week of this, she reports him to the Human Resources Department. "I want to file a sexual harassment suit against him." The HR supervisor was puzzled, "I don't get it. How is a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice sexual harassment?" The woman replied, "It's Keith. You know, the midget?" |
| A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said "Man, how did this happen?" The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his testicles. "Oh," exclaims the doctor, "The pain must have been excruciating!" "It was," said the hunter. "The second worst pain in my life." "Second worst? What could have been worse than that?" "Coming to the end of the chain" said the hunter. |
| An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a hooker standing at her door. She says to him, "Hey Granddad, why don't we give it a try?" He says, "No thank you. That is no longer possible for me." It was a slow night, so the hooker says, "Oh, come on, what have we got to lose; let's give it a try." So, they both go inside and he acts like the young man he used to be. "Oh my goodness," says the hooker breathlessly afterward, "I thought you said sex was no longer possible for you." Says the old man, "Oh, my body is still highly capable; it's the paying that is no longer possible." |
| "You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie. "You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts." Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great." Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better. "You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?" Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!" |