| After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating. As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination. "At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse. "I haven't got an erection" said the man. "No, but I have" replied the nurse. |
| A couple were making love in a 5 Series BMW when the bloke's back seized up. The ambulance men were afraid to move him in case of serious damage to his spine. So the police decided to use the 'jaws of life'. They simply cut the entire top of the car off so the patient could be safely lifted out without bending. When the ambulance departed the girl sat weeping beside the abbreviated 5 Series BMW. Feeling sorry for her, a cop patted her on the shoulder. "He'll be all right," he reassured her. The girl rounded on him savagely, "Oh, sod him," she exclaimed. "How am I going to explain to my husband what happened to his BMW?" |
| Mickey was in a bar having a drink, and the barmaid was one sexy looking lady! He slapped a ten spot on the table and said, "I bet I can keep an eye on this drink while I go to the bathroom". She knew the bathroom was around the corner so she accepted the bet. He took his out his glass eye, placed it next to his drink and went to the bathroom. "OK chance to get your money back, I bet I can bite my own ear", Mickey challenged next. The Barmaid accepted the bet. He took out his false teeth and nipped his ear. Once more he pocketed his winnings. "Okay", Mickey said, "I'll give you one last chance to win all your money back. I bet I can make love to you so gently and tenderly you won't feel a thing - double or nothing." Now that was one thing she knew about, so she accepted the bet. Mickey lifted her skirt and away they went. "I can feel you", she giggled. "Oh well", he cried while climaxing, "This is not my lucky day... you can't win them all." |
| Grumbling about the distance between campus buildings, a daughter wrote home to her father, who happened to be a veterinarian, asking for money to buy a second-hand motorcycle. By the time the money arrived, she had changed her mind and bought a monkey instead. After several weeks, the monkey started losing its hair. Hoping her father would know how to cure it, she wrote him a letter. "Dad, please help. All the hair is falling off my monkey. What should I do?" A couple of days later, she received a reply from her worried father. It read, "Sell the damn motorcycle!" |