| Nina and Rosey meet for lunch and Nina seems a little depressed. "What's wrong Nina?" asks Rosey. Nina replies, "Well, a friend of mine set me up on a blind date and I told her the criteria I was looking for in a man." "Yeah, so, whats the problem?" asks Rosey. "Well," Nina said, "My friend must have misunderstood me, cause the guy that showed up was as smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!" |
| A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings! She runs out of the room, of course with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!" The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for." |
| The Govt is to announce that the GST would definitely apply to the Penis because it provides a Service. The way the tax will apply was difficult to decide. This was due to the fact that - 90 percent of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 5 percent of the time it is hard up, 4 percent of the time it is pissed off. 1 percent of the time only it is in active service. On top of that it has two dependents and they are both nuts. Effective from 1st Dec, 2020, Penis will be taxed according to its size - 10"-12" Super Luxury Tax, 8"-10" Luxury Tax, 5"-. 8" Privilege Tax, 4"-. 5" Basic Tax. Males exceeding 12" must also file under Capital Gains Tax. Anyone under 4" is eligible for Exemption under Handicapped catagory. The Penis Taxpayers Association is still awaiting clarification on a number of questions raised on this new tax including: Will there be rebates for early withdrawal ? What if one's penis is self employed ? Do multiple partners count as Corporation ? Are condoms deductible as expenses ? For more, call your CAs. |
| A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks the madam, "How much do I owe you?" The madam motions for him to put away his money. She then pulls two hundred dollars out of a purse and gives it to him. She fends off all his attempts for an explanation. Naturally, the man returns the following evening. He gets the same treatment, and is again given two hundred dollars. The third night he does the same thing, but when he sees the madam she asks him for three hundred dollars. "Wait a minute," he says. "The first night you gave me two hundred dollars. The second night you gave two hundred dollars. Now you want me to pay you three hundred? Why?" The madam smiles and says, "Tonight you weren't being filmed." |