| Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they come to the corral, he explained, "That's a bull and a cow, and he's serving her." A little later on, he said, "That's a stud and a mare, and he's serving her too." That night at supper, after everyone was seated and grace was said, Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Will you please serve the turkey?" Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "If he does I'm eating a hamburger!" |
| One day little Johnny's teacher was teaching the class about agriculture. To help with this, she was showing pictures of farm equipment. She puts up the first picture, "What is this a picture of class?" she asks. Little Suzy puts up her hand and Johnny sticks up his hand. Of course, the teacher just knows that Johnny has something dirty in mind and picks Suzy."What is this Suzy?" "Its a rake." "Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" she asks and points at the next picture. Johnny's hand shoots up and, little Anne politely puts up her hand, and once again the teacher ignores little Johnny. "That's a pitchfork" says little Suzy. "Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" The teacher asks once more. Dead silence, only one student has their hand up, and of course its little Johnny. Seeming as though no one else was volunteering, the teacher asked Johnny. "OK Johnny, what is this?" All of a sudden Johnny realizes he doesn't know the answer. "UH, UH, its a shovel, yeah, it's a shovel." "No Johnny, this isn't a shovel, this is a hoe." "What?!?! My sister's a hoe and she doesn't look nutin' like that!!" |
| One day, Little Johnny, was outside in the backyard stomping on honeybees. When his father came out and saw what the little boy was doing, he made him stop right away and told the little boy, "That's it for you. No honey for a week." Then Little Johnny went to the front yard of the house and started stomping on butterflies. When his father saw what he was doing, his father made him stop right away and said, "Stomping on butterflies is a terrible thing to do. Just for that, no butter for a week." After that, Little Johnny and his father went into the kitchen and saw Little Johnny's mother stomping on cockroaches. Little Johnny turned to his father and said, "Should I tell her or should you?" |
| Little Johnny was supposed to bring fifty cents to school for a workbook, so he went to ask his father for it. He found him in the bathroom, stark naked, and in the excitement he forgot all about the fifty cents and asked, "Daddy, What's that?" His dad said, "That's what I call 'a shame'." Next day at school, when the teacher asked for the fifty cents, Little Johnny said, "Daddy couldn't give me fifty cents because he wasn't wearing his pants." The teacher replied, "Doesn't your father have any shame at all?" Little Johnny, "Oh, yes, ma'am, he has one, but it's not as big as the one the principal gave you last Thursday." |