| One day Little Johnny's teacher, decided to play a spelling game. She gave a letter of the alphabet and the kids have o spell a word starting with that letter, then use it in a sentence. Starting with "A" Little Johnny's hand was continually in the air, but the teacher ignored him. Little Johnny had a propensity for lewd remarks and could turn the simplest of statements into sexual innuendo. The teacher was afraid to let Johnny use any letter that he could turn into a lewd statement. "All right now, Susan, you first?" said the teacher. "A is for Ape, A-P-E, An ape likes bananas" answered Susan. "Excellent " said the teacher. She continues on through the alphabet. Finally she reaches F. Now she will NOT let Little Johnny answer this under any circumstances so she asks Mary. "F is for Fairy F-A-I-R-Y, they're little girls who live among the flowers", Mary replies. "Great", says the teacher. "Now we get to G." Only Little Johnny has his hand up so the teacher thinks about this and decides "G" is a safe one. "Yes Johnny?" She asks. "G is for Gnome G-N-O-M-E. A Gnome lives among the flowers too." "Johnny! That's Excellent!" Exclaims the teacher, very happy that for once he wasn't out of line. Little Johnny goes on to say, "Yes, teacher, he's the one who Fuck the fairies!" |
| Little Johnny was sitting on the fence, watching a bull with two cows. The preacher walked up and asked Little Johnny what he was doing. Johnny replied, "I'm watching that bull screw that black cow." The preacher was shocked, "John, you shouldn't use that word. Instead, say the bull is going to 'surprise' the black cow." "Okay." The preacher continued on his walk. The next Sunday, the preacher was shaking hands with his parishioners as they left church when Little Johnny appeared with his parents. The preacher bent down, smiled, and asked, "So, Johnny, did that bull 'surprise' the black cow?" Little Johnnie replies, "He sure did! He fucked the white one!" |
| Little Johnny's mother decided to tell him all about making babies, so she had "The Talk" with him. Afterwards Little Johnny just sat there silently for awhile. "Do you understand?" his mother asked. "Yes," replied Little Johnny. "Do you have any questions?" asked his Mother. "Yes, how about little kittens and puppies?" asked Little Johnny. "In exactly the same way as with babies", answered his Mom. "Wow!" Little Johnny exclaimed. "Boy, oh, boy. Daddy will fuck ANYTHING!" |
| The teacher asked the class if anyone could give the class an example of love. Little Susie stood up and said, "I saw two robins making a nest together, I think that is love." "Very good," said the teacher, "anyone else?" Little Johnny stood up and said, "I think love is Fucking!!!" The teacher was shocked and told little Johnny to go home and not to come back without a note from his father. The next morning Little Johnny was back in class, the teacher asked, "Do you have a note from your father?" Little Johnny said, "No, my father said love is fucking and anyone that says it is not is a cock sucker and he doesn't correspond with cock suckers." |