| Little Johnny's class is on a field trip to the farm. The teacher asks, "Can anyone tell the class what that is?" (pointing) Mary replies, "That is a sheep, it has wool." The teacher said, "Very good, Mary. Now who knows what that is?" (pointing) Freddie answered, "That's a cow. It gives milk." This repeats for all the animals and most of the implements of the farm. Finally the teacher points at an object on the barn roof and asks, "And who knows what that is?" Little Johnny says, "That's a weathercock. It tells the wind direction." The teacher replied, "And why is it called a weathercock?" Little Johnny said "Cause if it was a weathercunt, the wind would blow right through it." |
| Little Johnny came to Montreal from his home in Labrador, where he had never seen a colored person. One day when he was out walking with his Uncle Tom they happened to pass a colored woman, and the little fellow asked, "Say, uncle, why did that woman black her face?" "Why, she hasn't blacked her face. That is her natural color," replied the uncle. "Is she black like that all over?" asked Johnny. "Why, yes." "Gosh, uncle, you know everything, don't you?" |
| Once again, Little Johnny was in trouble, but this time it was serious. He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and although the crime appeared to be highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming. As a last desperate move, the defense attorney went over to the witness stand, pulled Little Johnny's pants down and grabbed hold of the boy's tiny penis for all to see. Turning towards the jury box, the lawyer cried, "Ladies and gentlemen, surely you cannot believe that such a small, still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?" Growing more agitated, he continued, "How could this miniature member possibly be capable of even an erection, let alone the rape of a grown woman!" "Careful!" Little Johnny yelped, "One more shake and you're going to lose the case!" |
| The teacher asked the class if anyone could give the class an example of love. Little Susie stood up and said, "I saw two robins making a nest together, I think that is love." Very good said the teacher, anyone else? Little Johnny stood up and said, "I think love is Fucking." The teacher was shocked and told little Johnny to go home and not to come back without a note from his father. The next morning Little Johnny was back in class, the teacher asked, "Do you have a note from your father?" Little Johnny said, "No, my father said love is fucking and anyone that says it is not is a cock sucker and he doesn't correspond with cock suckers." |