| Mr. Dickson asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole. Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers. They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer. "Look," said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little Zero. This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole." "Aaaaaaahhhhhh," said the children. The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, "Mr. Dickson, my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole." "Hmmmm," he thought, "How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I'll be darned; I don't know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?" "Yes," said Little Johnny, "You take a flute and shove it up your ass!" |
| At school, Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Catherine, the teacher, asks the students what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said, "Paracetamol ?" "Very good! And what is it used for?" "It is used for a headache." The second pupil said, "Restyl." "Excellent!" said Catherine. "And what it is used for?" "To help you sleep," replied the student. Now it is Johnny's turn and he said, "Viagra." "And what is it used for, Johnny?" asked the surprised Catherine. "It is used for diarrhoea." "And who told you this, Johnny?" "Nobody, but most evenings my mother tells my father... 'Take a viagra, and maybe that shit will get harder.'" Catherine fainted. Class Dismissed. |
| The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert." Robert: "The artwork." Teacher: "Very good. And you, Peter?" Peter: "Her Boobs and tits!" Teacher: "Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall! And you, Little Johnny?" Johnny: "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..." |
| Eight year old Little Johnny asked his mother the age-old question: "How did I get here?" His mother told him, "God sent you." "And my cousin Matt ?" "He sent him also," said the mother. "Did God send you, too?" asked little Johnny. "Yes, dear," the mother replied. "Did God send dad, too?" asked little Johnny. "Yes, dear," the mother replied. "What about Grandma and Grandpa?" Johnny persisted. "He sent them also," the mother said. "Did He send their parents, too?" little Johnny asked. "Yes, dear, He did," said the mother patiently. "So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in this family for 200 years? No wonder everyone"s so grumpy around here." |