| A Survey Conducted Among Women Gave The Below Results. "A" Were The Answers Given By Un-Married Women And "B" Are The Answers Given By Married Women. Q: What Is The One Thing That Pierces A Woman Hard, When She Hugs A Man? A. PENIS B. Unshaved Facial Hair. Q: What Is The Most Painful Experience During Sex? A. Beginning Of Intercourse. B. When My Hair Gets Entangled. Q: How Long Does An Intercourse Last? A. Around One Hour. B. Just About 6 Mins. Q: One Thing That A Woman Hates About Sex? A. Risk Of Pregnancy. B. The Cleaning Up. Q: What Do Men Hate Most In A Woman's Body? A. Body Odour / Unwanted Hair / Flab. B. Menstruation. Q: Which Is The One Part Of Woman's Body That Can Get Her Into Trouble? A. P***Y. B. Tongue. Q: What Is The One Quality That A Man Likes In A Woman? A. Simplicity/intelligence/ Understanding. B. Cooking. Q: When Is A Man In Maximum Mood For Sex? A. At Night/when Naked. B. Those 5 Days. Q: Which Part Of A Woman's Body Is Most Liked By Men? A. Breasts/waist/face/eyes. B. Closed Mouth. Q: When Is A Man, Not In Mood To Have Sex? A. When He Is Sick/ Tired / Upset. B. When He Is Hungry. Q: When Is A Man, Very Kind To His Wife? A. When He Needs Help/ When Aroused. B. In Front Of Other Women. |
| A married man was talking about birthdays. He said to his friend, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything already. And besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm at a loss." His friend says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate. It will say she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She will be thrilled." So he did just that. The next day his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," was the answer. "Did she like it?" His buddy asked. "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out door." She was yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!" |
| Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to sleep on the floor to avoid any chance of contact, which could happen pretty easily, since he had been desperate for quite a while. Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him & sees the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled with hopeless desire. Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of her night table, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to him. "Awww, honey, you're so depressed. Here, take this & go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with her tonight. Remember now, this happens only this once. OK ?" The husband can't believe his ears, but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves quickly. A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wife & says dejectedly, "Crystal says this is not enough, she wants eighty." The wife's face slowly turns red with anger, "Why that damn bitch. When she was pregnant & her husband came over here, I only charged him fifty." |
| A guy on his wedding night in the hotel says to his new wife, "Geez, I never realized you had such big breasts." The wife gets all upset and throws him out. While he is sitting in the hall another guy comes out down the hall. "What happened?" asks the first man. "Well," replies the other "I first saw my new wife naked tonight, and all I said was 'Geez, I didn't realize you had such a big butt...' then she threw me out." Just then a third guy comes storming out into the hall. "Hey," says the second guy, "Did you put your foot in it as well?" "No," says the third guy, "But I bloody well could have." |