| A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse. After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great TIME for two hours. Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck. He panicked, wondering what he was going to tell his wife. After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate animal. Holding his neck with one hand, he said, "Honey, look what the dog did to my neck! "Hell, that's nothing" she answered, ripping open her blouse. "Look what he did to my ta-tas! |
| The Bureau of Meteorology forecasts heavy snowfalls so the bride can expect a few good inches overnight. Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments. The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it. Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom Mounted. Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She'll last for many years. Dont keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the woman next door. Treat him like a flower... grab him by the stalk. If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air. Go for it mate. We all did! She offered her honour, He honoured her offer, and all night he was on her and off her. Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an Off-Spring next Spring. Hope your honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long hard route. Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant. Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population. Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500. |
| A very tired husband came home from the office after a long grueling day to find his wife in her sexiest nightgown waiting for him at the door with a couple of glasses of wine in hand. She took his briefcase from him and led him over to the couch where she proceeded to help make him "more comfortable." "How should we do it tonight, honey?" she cooed in his ear, "Shall we do 69?" "I don't think so dear. I'm pretty tired. How about 68?" he said. "Huh, 68? What's 68?" she asked, a little puzzled. "You do me, and I'll owe you one." |
| A guy gets married and for the first year he never leaves his wife alone. Every day, morning noon and night, he is at it His wife is a little pissed off about this so she goes to her mother and says, "Mom, he won't leave me alone, every day, 4-5 times a day, he's like a rabbit." Her mother tells her to go to the fishmongers and get a fish and put it up her pussy. That night the husband comes home and drags her upstairs, rips of her clothes and proceeds to make love to her. On entry he screams and pulls out. He is bleeding and covered in scratches, so for the next year he does not even look at his wife. She, beginning to feel a little randy after this long lay off, again approaches her mother and asks for advice. Her mother tells her to wait until he is in bed and then show him what he is missing. That night he is lying in bed and she strips and climbs onto the bed. She then steps over him, but just as her ass is passing his face, she farts. The guy looks up and says, "Bark you bitch, but you won't bite me again!" |