| Charlie and George were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. Charlie said to George, "Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older." "What do you mean?" asked George. "Well," replied Charlie, "I can barely remember the last time I was able to perform in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!" "Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered. "Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd get these terrible headaches," he answered. "Now that we're older, she hasn't had a headache in years." |
| A man is having problems with his penis, which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your penis is burned out. You only have 30 erections left in your penis." The man walks home, deeply depressed. His wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doctor told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!" He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it." |
| A honeymoon couple had booked a sleeper berth for their trip. However when boarding the train, they found their berths were both upper berths on opposite sides of the compartment. During the night, the groom, feeling amorous, whispered across to his bride, "Come across here darling." She whispered back, "How can I get across." The groom said, "I have something stiff you could crawl across on." A voice from the lower berth asked with a chuckle, "How's she going to get back?" |
| A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance love, they're far too expensive." Later on in bed the wife is just falling asleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower onto her thigh. She turns to him and says, "I don't think so mate. If you're not prepared to shoe the horse, then you sure as hell ain't riding it!" |