| A couple who had been married for thirty-five years were lying in a hotel bed. They were just about to go to sleep when through the walls they heard a girl's voice say, "Oh, honey, you're so strong." The husband turned to his wife and asked, "Why don't you ever say that to me?" "Because," she replied, "you're not strong any more." A few minutes later, they heard the girl's voice again, "Oh, honey, you're so romantic." The husband turned to his wife, "Why don't you ever say that to me?" "Because," she answered, "you're not romantic any more." Five minutes later, they heard the girl's voice groan: "Oh, honey, that was a wonderful orgasm. Thank you." The husband turned to his wife, "Why don't you ever tell me when you have a wonderful orgasm?" "Because," she said, "you are never around when I have them!" |
| The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?" "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed." |
| A woman finally got divorced from a rather nasty and egotistical man. She then re-married someone whom she felt would treat her with more love and kindness. When her ex-husband happened to meet her on the street one day, he couldn't overcome his usual tendencies, and asked her sarcastically, "So, how does that new husband of yours like screwing a used pussy?" "He likes it just fine," she replied, "once he gets past the used part." |
| A medical professor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast and testicles. A female student asked another male student, "Do you ever get an erection when you do a self-examination of your testicles?" "Sometimes, yes" replied the male student. "What do you do about it?" She then asked. "Nothing, why?" She thought for a while then said, "You mean you go around with a hard penis all day?" "Err... no," he replied. "You mean a man's penis will go down without having an orgasm?" "Of course!!!" "I'm going to kill my husband!" |