| Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it. "I know what we will do", she said, "Let's take revenge on him." So together they went to a motel and had revenge. After 10 minutes, she said, "Let's have more revenge," and they took revenge again. After 5 times, Tommy was lying spent, and she said, "Let's take revenge again." Tommy said, "Let's forgive them..... I have no more HARD feelings left !!!" |
| How marriage works in India ? A newly wed couple had only been married for two weeks. Husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out in town and party and drink with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I am going out and will be back soon." "Where are you going honey bunch?" asked wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." Wife said, "You want a beer, my love? She went and opened the door of the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries - Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. Husband didn't know what to do, the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop but at the bar you know they have frozen glasses." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. Husband, looking bit pale, said, "Yesss... Tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those reshmi kababs, that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise.. Okkk?" "You want reshmi kababs poochie pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different types of ready to eat kababs, chicken wings, cutlet, mushroom caps, etc. "But my sweet honey.... at the barrr... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "Teri Maan Ki... you want dirty words, you bastard??? Bhenchod, drink your fucking beer in your damn frozen mug... eat your shitty snacks you Madarchod... and Bhosdi Ke Ab Teri Shaadi Ho Gayi Hai, Isliye Tum Kahin Nahin Jaa Rahe Ho...!!! Samajh Aaya Bhen Ke Laude Ya Dun Pichwaade Mein Ek Laat?" So he stayed home. And, they lived happily everafter. |
| What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professional man who will just love them for who they are. What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them only because no other woman wants him. What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela Lee Anderson; Wonderful Mom with big hooters and can suck the chrome off a flagpole. What men get: Someone who immediately begins to gain those 80 extra lbs. the moment after she says 'I Do' beginning with the wedding cake! What women want in bed: A passionate lover who takes the time to kiss and gently caress, slowly building up to a wonderful joyous experience together. What they get: "Wham-Bam-Thank-You Ma'am!", Belch, Fart, Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
| Mary and Betty were friends that worked in the same office. At lunch, Betty confided to her co-worker that she had an awful row with her husband the night before. "What was it about?" asked Mary. "He was going through a closet, looking for something, and found my birth control pills." "Well?" "He had a vasectomy two years ago!" |