| Four married guys go golfing over the weekend and on Sunday during the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued. First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second Guy: "That`s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven`t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What`s the deal?" Fourth Guy: "That`s easy! I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke and say, `Golf Course or Intercourse?` So she says, `Wear your sweater.`" |
| A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to enforce the laws pending. He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, "Looks like you`ve had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?" The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck`s rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here`s a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?" The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird`s rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here`s an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?" The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said, "This here`s an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon state hunting license?" Once again, only this time more aggravated, the hunter produced the appropriate license. The warden, a little miffed at having struck out, handed the ducks back to the hunter and said, "You`ve got all of these licenses, just where the hell are you from?" The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and said "You`re so smart, YOU tell ME!" |
| A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife`s golf ball..........stuck right in the middle of the cow`s butt. That`s when I made my mistake." "What did you do?" asked the doctor. Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!" Contributted by:- Karan email address:- kgupta@yahoo.com |
| Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn`t bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I`ll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining, "I can`t do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you`d better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back and said: "Small world." |