| After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked, "How did your game go?" The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was. The second was a blonde lady who quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders. The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders. The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long. The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left. He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "Riders"? The bartender simply smiled and said, "A 'Rider' is when you hit a shot long enough to ride on the golf cart to your ball." |
| A computer programmer was taking a smoke break when a woman passing by sarcastically commented, "Don't you know that those things can kill you? They put a warning on every pack!" "Oh, that's okay," said the guy, exhaling smoke, "I'm a programmer." "What's that got to do with anything?" she asked. He answered, "Programmers ignore warnings; we only care about errors!" |
| "Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly. "Oh, just a bit of gas," said sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, "Cute little Fart!" |
| The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a 'little' stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate was sober, showed him the following entry in the ship's log: 'The first mate was drunk today.' "Captain please don't let that stay in the log," the mate said. "This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself. "Is it true?" asked the captain, already knowing the answer. "Yes, its true," the mate said. "Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That's the rule. If its true it goes into the log, end of discussion," said the captain sternly. Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entries. The first mate wrote: "The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober today." |