-
Blondes Deptt.
The Blondes at the university were tired of not fitting in. They were tired of other students assuming they were just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt they belonged.
So they pressured the administration to set up a new Department especially for them. The university agreed, and set up the Blonde Education Department.
The Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They felt they really belonged now.
They wanted other students to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos -- after all, they now had their own department at the university.
So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the Blonde Education Department, which sports the saying: "I Belong in B.E.D." -
Private Secretary
Police was investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 9th-story office.
Nancy, his voluptuous private secretary could offer no explanation for the action but said that her boss had been acting peculiarly ever since she started working for him, a month ago.
"After my very first week on the job," Nancy said, "I received a raise. At the end of the second week he called me into his private office, gave me a lovely black nightie, five pairs of nylon stockings and said, 'These are for a beautiful efficient secretary.'
"At the end of the third week he gave me a fabulous mink stole. Then, this afternoon, he called me into his private office again, presented me with this fabulous diamond bracelet and asked me if I could consider making love to him and what it would cost."
"I told him that I would, and because he had been so nice to me, he could have it for just 500 bucks, although I was charging all the other guys in the office one thousand. That's when he jumped out the window." -
Pepper Shaker
On their anniversary night, the blonde husband sat his wife down in the bedroom with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.
"How romantic!" she thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.
Her harried blond husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway.
"Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long but I had to refill the pepper shaker."
"Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"
"More than an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffing' it through those dumb little holes." -
Free Ride
A farmer took the camper off his truck before going to town. As he was going down the road five Blondes were standing beside the road hitchhiking. The farmer picked them up, one blonde got in the front and the other four blondes got in the back. As they were going over the hill the brakes went out on the truck. The farmer couldn't stop the truck and they went into the pond at the bottom.
The farmer and the blonde that were up front come up out of the water a minute later. They kept waiting for others in the back to come up.
The farmer said, "I wonder where they are?"
The blonde said, "May be they drowned."
About five minutes later they come up gasping for breath. The farmer asked, "What the Hell took you so long?"
The four blondes said, "We had a devil of a time getting that fucking tailgate open!"