| Two Blondes were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first blonde says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second blonde finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits for an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first blonde finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second blonde if he did what he told him to do. The blonde answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows." |
| Late one Sunday afternoon, a blonde from a small town was taking a long walk through a nearby meadow when she was surprised to see a parachutist trapped in the high branches of a tree. "Hellllllp!" he cried when he spotted her down below. "What are you doing up there?" she called back. "I was skydiving," he answered, "and my parachute didn't open!" The blonde rolled her eyes. "Well, of course it didn't. If you'd just asked one of the locals, anybody could've told you that *nothing* around here opens on a Sunday!" |
| A young blonde college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'." |
| A blonde was speeding in a 30 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and walked up to the car. The police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for her driving license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle." |