| A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer, "May I see your licence? Lady, "What does it look like?" Officer, "Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it." The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. The officer opens it up and says, "If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over." |
| This blonde was bored with driving her old BMW. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. So she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she
fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes
enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly
go wrong? At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her. "That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter? Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid." "Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again. "Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?" "Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied. Looking shocked she asked, "Oh. How many times a week do I have to do that?" |
| A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?" The big woman replies, Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I'm blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. Also, the blond woman sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 220 pounds, and she is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blond who is 6'5, weighs 250 pounds, and she's a current professional kickboxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blond joke? The guy thinks about it a second and says, No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times. |
| A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Why did you give them names like that?" The blonde responded, "What else would you name watch dogs?" |