| There were two friends. One Hindu, Pawan and the other Muslim, Javed. They were heavy boozers. Not a day passed without their meeting, which resulted in ending up at a bar. Everyone was fed up with their drinking habit. Even they were keen to stop drinking. But the urge to drink always got the better of them. Once they met in the morning. Being sober, they discuss their problem and came up with a solution. The Hindu says that it would be equal to eating the holy cow, and similarly the Muslim says that drinking whisky would be equal to eating a pig for him. After their daily chores, their natural instinct made them meet outside the bar. They are happy to see each other, but they remind each other of their holy vow. They couldn`t stand outside for long and suggest that it is unholy for them to drink but they could always sit in the bar. Thus, they go inside and sat on their favourite table. They further decide, that they could always order a drink each and not drink it as it would look rude sitting in the bar and not ordering something. So they ended up with a glass each in front of them. Pointing to the glass in front of him, Pawan says that drinking from the glass in front of him is equal to eating beef for him. And Javed points that drinking from the glass in front of him is equal to eating ham for him. Their craving was getting the better of them. They could not control the urges. And suddenly Pawan says that Javed, " You can eat beef and I can eat ham, let`s change glasses and drink." No sooner this was mentioned, they gulp their glasses and had a good evening full of booze. Moral: Religion does not come between the drunk and the drink. |
| An American Jew enters into a bar and sees a Chinese guy having a beer. He walks over and gives the Chinese guy a huge back hander which lays the poor guy out on the floor. "What was that for?", says the Chinaman. "That", says the Jew, "Was for bombing Pearl Harbour you bastards!" The poor Chinese guy is lost. He says "Hey wait, I`m Chinese, not Japanese, it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbour." The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, you`re all the same to me." So the Chinaman gives the American Jew a huge back hander that lays him out on the floor. The Jew is shocked. "What was that for?" "That was for sinking the Titanic" "The Titanic!", says the Jew. "The Titanic was sunk by a iceberg!" And the Chinese says "Iceberg, Goldberg, Spielberg, you`re all the same to me!" |
| Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?" "I don`t know," Sid replied. "Why don`t we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don`t know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!" |
| An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him.The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat. The American asks :`Do you eat the bread entirely?` The Indian answers,`Of course!` American : `We do not .We only eat the inner part.The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to India.` The Indian says nothing. The American continues,`Do you eat this jelly with the bread?` Indian : `Of course!` American : `We do not. We eat fresh fruits for breakfast and then put the seeds and peels into a container.Later it is processed and transformed to jelly and sold to India.` The Indian finally asks,`And what do you do with the condoms after using them?` American : `We throw them away,of course!` Indian : `We do not. We keep them in containers, process them transform them into chewing gum and sell it to the United States.` |