A sweetheart named Theresa Arden;
Went down on her beau in the garden.
He said, "Good Lord, Tess,
Don't swallow that mess!"
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"
There was a young girl named Sapphire;
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin;
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
There once was a young man named Gene;
Who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex,
It served either sex,
And played with itself in between.
There was a young poof from Khartoum;
Who took a lesbian up to his room;
They argued all night;
About who had the right;
To do what, with which and to whom.
To his bride, said the sharp-eyed detective,
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Is your east tit the least bit
the best of your west tit,
or is it a trick of perspective?"
There was a young man from Kentuckett,
whose cock was so long he could suck it.
Said he with a grin,
wiping spunk off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it"
There was an old man from Peru;
Who fell asleep in his canoe;
While dreaming of Venus;
He played with his penis;
And awoke in a boat full of goo!
Said a nun as the bishop withdrew,
"This must be our final adieu,
for the vicar is slicker,
and thicker and quicker,
and two inches longer than you."
There was a young plumber of Leigh,
was plumbing a maid by the sea.
Said the maid: 'Cease your plumbing,
I think someone's coming.'
Said the plumber, still plumbing: 'It's me.'
There once was a man from east Kent,
whose tool was incredibly bent,
so to save himself trouble,
he put it in double,
and instead of coming he went!
