A burglar came into bedroom, tied up husband and wife, kissed wife's ear and went to bathroom.
Husband to Wife: "Satisfy him or he will kill us; Be strong, I love you."
Wife: He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he's gay & needs Vaseline: And I told him it's in the bathroom. So be strong I love you, too!
A married man had 3 kids, He named them NC, MC and ABC.
When asked what they meant, he said: Natural Curiosity, Mutual Consent and Absolute Bloody Carelessness!
Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand Stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.
Recommended dosage of viagra:
New Girlfriend: No Need
Old Girlfriend: 1/2 Tablet
Mistress: 1 Tablet
Wife: 2 tabs+whisky+Porn Movie+Will Power
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
A man was charged with Necrophilia (having sex with a dead woman). The judge said; I havn't seen such disgusting case in 20 years. Can you give me one good reason why you did it?
Man: I can give 3 reasons.It' non of ur business, she was my wife and I didn't know she was dead as she always acted like that.
Pappu meets his father in red light area. Pappu: Papa aap yahan?
Father: Bus beta ab 200-300 Rs ki cheez k liye teri maa k nakhre nahi sahe jate.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
Man: Sex ho jaye?
Wife: No.
Man: Jewar le dunga.
Wife: No.
Man: Car le dunga.
Wife: No, No, No.
Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.
